Relax, Reduce, Recharge: A Relaxation Day Refrain

August 15 is National Relaxation Day. Congrats – you now have one more thing to stress about: the fact that you’re not relaxing enough!

Just kidding, of course. But it can feel like relaxation is something we try to shoehorn into our busy lives, rather than an integral and invigorating part of them. That’s why days like tomorrow are such helpful reminders.

We all recognize the benefits of relaxation, and there are so many simple things that can bring down our level of stress. Anyone who has had a good massage knows how much it can help you unwind. Meditation, yoga, and a good night’s sleep all have straightforward and salutary effects. Simply taking a series of deep and slow breaths immediately lowers our heart rate and blood pressure.

These are great ways to reduce your stress and help you relax. As Benjamin Franklin once said, though: An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. So, this Relaxation Day, why not reflect on the things that cause us stress in the first place?

Take that warm, soothing bath, but also ask yourself: Where does the stress come from in my life? Get that revitalizing massage but take a moment to think about what causes those knots in your neck to begin with. And don’t let yourself off the hook… really dig deep and ask yourself probing questions that get to the root cause. No need to stress yourself out about it, though. Think of it like a stress-relief scavenger hunt – and the best part is that you can take your time as you explore. There’s no rush.

High on my list of stressors was procrastination (Some of my friends may have said my favorite part of the day was the Last Minute). It had been a clear source of tension in my life, so I asked myself: Why do I do it? And what would I need to do to reduce this stress? How would it feel to experiment with doing something ahead of time?  Simply asking the question began a process of discovery for me. (If you’re really into this idea, I suggest asking your friends to weigh in as well – they can often see the things that give us anxiety better than we can.)

One of my favorite pieces of advice to myself and others is “Turn frustration into fascination!” In the case of my procrastination, I was causing myself undue stress and sometimes achieving less-than-optimal results as well. This would normally be considered frustrating… but to me, it was fascinating in that I was the architect of my own frustration.

I started to look at it as an interesting challenge to explore, with clues strewn throughout my childhood, my daily life, and my mental landscape. When I looked at the issue as a puzzle – turning it over in my mind, considering it from all angles, asking probing questions of myself – I reframed it entirely. I no longer perceived it as a painful and shameful character trait … it become an adventure in self-improvement.

You may be thinking: This all sounds great, but change isn’t a game… it’s hard. But does it have to be? Turning it into a game certainly makes it a more appealing alternative to berating or belittling ourselves. Fun always beats forced.

Here’s a way I’ve found to make the experience easier: Create a short-term experiment that you control. Pick anything you’d like – whether to help you relax, or to remove the pesky stressors in your life – and experiment with it for a week. Perhaps meditating for five minutes every day, turning off the TV an hour earlier and going to bed instead. Make it attainable and make it something you control.

For me, it was showing up five minutes early to every meeting and appointment – years ago, I had a tendency to be a bit late to meetings if the repercussions were minimal (are you sensing a time-related trend with me? Ha!). I experimented with showing up early for a week. Turns out, it actually felt a bit luxurious to be free of the anxiety I used to experi­ence when I was running late. By doing the experiment, I showed myself what I was missing… I discovered the power of punctuality!

National Relaxation Day is a perfect opportunity to unwind, but it’s also a great day to start experimenting with changes that will actually recharge you… giving you not just respite, but rejuvenation. So let this be your mantra for the day: Relax, Reduce (your stress), Recharge!